


Now.

by salable_mystic



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Gen, Memory chip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 19:53:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11881644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salable_mystic/pseuds/salable_mystic
Summary: Simon Illyan wakes up without his chip (but something isn't right).





	Now.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Weeping at the Grave of Mnemosyne](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024332) by [ExtraPenguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExtraPenguin/pseuds/ExtraPenguin). 
  * In response to a prompt by [ExtraPenguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExtraPenguin/pseuds/ExtraPenguin) in the [remixrevivalmadness2017](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/remixrevivalmadness2017) collection. 



> This was written for the Remix Revival 2017: Madness Round and is a Remix of ExtraPenguin's fic "Weeping at the Grave of Mnemosyne".

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Now.

Now.

Now.

Now.

All he has is now, and, when he knows enough to know that that isn't quite enough, that there also ought to be a future and a past, this mere now-ness of his existence terrifies him.

The past, his memories, recollections, places, names, people, events ... it is all hidden behind a grey veil that seems to be shifting, and, as soon as he tries to grasp at anything hidden behind it, forever receding.

They tell him he is cured, is well again, can expect a long and happy life.

He accepts this, when he knows enough to accept things, but he also feels as if he wants to laugh and laugh and laugh and cry. How long is a life that consists of nothing but the present? How is he supposed to measure time if he cannot properly mark its passing? What if his memory stays as faulty as it is right now? (What is memory?)

They tell him that he will get better, that he will improve, that his ability to recollect things is simply dormant, not lost entirely, that he has been relying on the chip too long, so that his biological memories are vague and hard to recall, because the chip used to do it all for him.

The chip.

Sometimes he remembers that he used to have a memory chip, sometimes he doesn't.

Sometimes he remembers where he is and why he is there, sometimes he doesn't.

Sometimes he doesn't even remember who he is, or that he ought to be someone.

They tell him a lot of things, but he remembers none of them for very long.

Mostly, all he has is now.

Now.

Now.

Now.

Now.

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End file.
